Too much love will kill you
by In-need-of-coffee
Summary: Sequel to "A thin line". "Too much love will kill you, if you can´t make up your mind, torn between the lover and the love you leave behind." Lorelai takes a leap on her new relationship. Please RR COMPLETE!
1. Too much love will kill you

**Too much love will kill you**

**Disclaimer:** I only own the computer were all this crazyness comes togheter. That´s it. Not the show nor the character in it. I don´t own Queen either, though I wish I was a queen but that has nothing to do with this.

**Author´s Note:** OK. So you talked me into writing a sequel. I hope you like this one as much as you liked the first. This is suposed to be a one parter as well; AU and OOC as the last one. Now please read and review :)

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_Too much love will kill you  
If you can´t make up your mind,  
Torn between the lover  
And the love you leave behind.And the pain will make you crazy,  
You are a victim of your crimes.  
Too much love will kill you,  
Anytime._

Like so many times in this past year I wake up on the verge of falling off my bed. His bed, I remember intantly, but I cannot ponder on that thought for long since another has clouded my mind. Where is he? He should be here, by my side. So I open my eyes and turn on the bed. There I see him, sitting on the couch staring at his hands. I ask what´s wrong but he seams to be lost in his own little world and won´t answer. I walk over to his side and that´s when I notice a ring in his hands. My left hand goes to my right and even thought I know my engagement ring looks nothing like the one he is holding I have to make certain that it´s still there.

"I was going to prepare and overly early breakfast and propose today." He says all of a sudden. "But when I was trying to free myself from your embrace I got my sleave caught on your engagement ring." His eyes flicker for a second in direction to my hand. "I was going to propose to a married woman, how ironic is that?" He says finally looking at me. "How pathetic is that?" He half mumbles while looking at the ring once more.

My heart breaks into pieces as I listen to him. I wish I could confort him, I wish I could make it all better... but I can´t and it kills me. I start to move closer still not sure of what I´ll do yet certain that I have to do something but he won´t let me. He says he needs some air and heads out into the cold day dawning.

I look at my ring; take it off and throw it half way across the room. I then collapse to the floor crying. I hate that thing, I never liked it to begin with, but I now oficially hate it. I know people say diamonds are a girls best friend, but mine would always be the amathyst. Light violet and small, shaped as a rectangle... just like the one he was holding minutes ago.

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I don´t know how long it´s been, I do know he should be back already... it has to be close to opening time. He is avoiding me. The thought shakes me to the core and states my actions. I go over to my clothes and get dressed, I write a note for him and leave the diner.

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It´s been almost a month since the day he "proposed". I haven´t seen him but I still keep my hopes high... hope that when I do he´ll smile just like I´m doing right now at his mere thought. Hope that he´ll find the strength in him to wait for me just a little bit longer. Sometimes I second guess my actions but deep down I know this was the only way to go.

I´ve been working as a manager of the Independence Inn in Stars Hollow for the past year. At first it gave me something to do and it also allowed me to be closer to him without arousing suspesions. But then, as the idea of filing for divorce started to form in my head, it gave me a way to grant my future. I started secretly saving up money and two weeks ago I bought a house. It´s not a big house, but it´s good enough for Rory and me.

Rory. The thought of her name alone makes me sad. She has always been a smart kid and she knew I was miserable with her dad. She has asked time and time again why am I filing for divorce but I cannot tell her. I dare not tell her. I could always blame it on Chris´s affaire but it wouldn't be true. That is just half of the reason, the other one being my own. Don´t get me wrong... we haven´t kissed yet, but isn´t lusting and longing for someone else a way of cheating too?

Things so far are going ok. I told Chris a week ago and even though he was a little bit shocked he didn´t seem to care too much. I guess he thought it was for the best too. We needed only one meeting with our lawyers to set up everything. He demanded almost everything we own, stating I hadn´t worked since we got married. I granted him that, I just asked for sole custody of Rory which he didn´t seem to mind that much and that he continue to pay for her Chilton tuition. That was a little bit harder but we managed at the end. He was shocked to find that I had bought a house but since he was keeping all of our things his lawyer suggested he leave it at ease, besided he wouldn´t have to provide me one now.

The papers should be done anyday now, but I can´t wait any longer. I have to see him... and that´s why, dissrigarding all I´ve promised him and myself, I am walking to his diner right now.

I cross the plaza from where I have a great view of the dinner. There he is, wearing the baseball cap I gave him. He lookes up and sees me coming. He turns around and walks away and I freeze right where I am. Maybe he didn´t see me, I try to reason with myself. But there is no way you can fool youself. I just can´t believe this... I can feel the tears wirling up in my eyes but my brain isn´t working properly and won´t tell them to disapear. A single tear escapes my eyes when I see him come out of the alley behind the dinner. He is running to me. He is running to meet me! And despite my no-work-out-policy I run towards him too... I think I heard someone calling my name but I don´t care right now. All I can think about is Luke running to me. We meet in a tight hug and before I can say anything at all he leans down and kisses me senseless.

That´s when I hear it clear as cristal water.

"MOM!?"

I turn just to see Rory running away from me. I scream out her name and beg her to stop but she won´t listen.

"You said it would be done when you came back." He said hurt realising his grip of my waist and walking away.

I don´t know what to do, I´m torn between running after her or explaining this to him. I decide for the second, he deserves that much and I guess Rory would have found out eventually about him.

I run after him and catch up right before he can enter the diner again. I stand in his way and say the only thing I believe will make him stop.

"It is done."

"Really? Then why has your daughter just ran away from you?"

"Because..."

"Exactly what I thought." He says bitterly and stars to walk away once more. I grab his arm with all of my might to keep him from leaving before I can explain.

"I told Chris I wanted the divorce. We´ve set everything already. I even bought a house here in Stars Hollow for Rory and I to live in. The papers should be here any day of this week, but I couldn´t tell Rory about you just yet. Luke, please... look at me. The waiting was driving me crazy, I couldn´t stand to be away from you an other day... I just wanted to tell you the good news." I put a hand in his face trying to have him face me, but he moves away. He looks up at me and his eyes scare me. He is a mixture of hurt, anger and dare. He is daring me to lie to him once more. I took a step closer and stand looking right into his eyes.

"I am going to leave him Luke. I will divorce him." He searches my eyes looking for a hint of lie then searches inside his pocket and gives me a box and a note. He turns and finally leaves me in the middle of the street.

I put my head down defeatedly and start to walk away. I don´t need to open the note to know what it says. It was my own. The one I wrote before I left.

_I know I cannot ask anything from you,  
but I´m hoping that you will find it in your heart  
to wait for me untill I return.  
There are some things I need to take care of  
before I can answer the question you never asked.  
If you accept my plea then don´t try to contact me.  
I´ll come back to you the day when I can scream my reply.  
With all my love untill we meet again,_

_Lorelai._

I can only asume that my engagement ring will be inside the box since I never picked it up the day I left. I open the box to see it once again, before I give it back to Chris and I´m shocked to see an amathyst staring at me from inside. I´m confused and decide to read the note. Right underneath my words I can read his reply.

_My love,  
I will not deny that I wish you´ll marry me  
but I will not push you tordwards a decision you don´t want to make.  
If you decide to back up on this,  
then you must know that I will still love you  
and will remain your friend no matter what.  
But if you want to go through with this,  
then I beg you to wear this ring when you come back  
so I´ll know what you´ve chosen.  
Untill the day you return to my side,  
Love, _

_Luke._

I start crying as I realize he must have wanted to send that the moment he read the letter. I wish it means that he will be waiting till I work this out but I don´t believe this to be the time to ask.

So I head home to finish the leap I´ve just been force to take, hoping that one way or the other I´ll land on my feet.

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**Author´s Note:** Don´t worry I intend to write an other chappy for this but it was turning out to be really long and messy so I decided to cut this one here and post the next one only if you like the sequell. So please let me know? Pretty please??? :)

**Colleen:** Thanks again for checking this for me :)

**Vered:** Now, can´t wait to hear what you thing of this one... please review.

**Wheelie:** Be nice.


	2. As a cat held upside down

**Too much love will kill you**

**Disclaimer:** I only own the computer were all this craziness comes together. That´s it. Not the show nor the character in it. I don´t own Mocking Bird by Darius Danesh either, but I did rewrite some of the lyrics to suit the end of the fic.

**Author´s Note:** So here comes the end. I really hope you enjoy this. Feel free to click the review button and let me know :) Oh yeah... and if you didn´t hate Chris already... you will now. Sorry.

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I´ve lived three days of calvary till today. After reading his note I went straight home, to Rory´s room and tried to walk in but she had locked the door. That stroke me as odd since she never did so I braced myself for the worst. I knocked and waited for her reply.

"What do you want mother?" She asked from inside and I was hurt at her coldness.

"We need to talk."

"No, mother we do not."

"Rory please let me explain..."

"What? How you cheated on dad? How you are going to leave him to be with who knows whom? That you lied to me? Well, thank you but I think I´d rather pass."

"Rory..." I started to say half warningly but I hear her sing from inside... I could almost picture her as a four year old covering her ears and humming just not to listen when you talk to her. I waited for a while and when she gave up I spoke again.

"We will have to talk this out eventually you know."

"Again mother you are wrong because I intend to avoid you for the time you have left in this house."

"What do you mean I? We are moving out together."

"No. You are moving out... I´m staying, I´ve already told dad and he agreed. Just be thankful I never said why I didn´t want to live with you. Now leave me alone!"

I know Rory better than I know myself and I knew it was a lost case. I went to my room and cried myself to sleep. I wanted to run to him and tell him everything, have him make it disappear just like he always did, but this time I had to stay.

The next days were filled with time for packing. Rory wouldn´t speak to me and Chris never did anyways so I was left to my own, with exception of my mother´s calls and visits who still demanded explanations about what was I thinking to ask for a divorce. The papers showed up the third morning and I called the movers once Chris and I had signed everything. Mom came that day and threatened never to speak to me if I went through with this... and she hasn´t since.

I decided to leave a letter for Rory on her bed explaining everything, since his father´s affair till what I considered mine, in the hopes that she would read it once she was back from Chilton and maybe one day forgive me.

I´m on the steps of my new house now. The movers just left leaving me with a bunch of boxes and a mattress on the floor. I will need to go shopping sometime soon but right now I´m just trying to decide what to do next.

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I´ve been in this house for over two weeks now. I wake up early, I go to work, I talk Sookie into letting me sneak out some food at night, I get home, watch some T.V and go to bed. I wake up the next day and follow the same routine again. It´s not the best of lives but at least it is mine.

I bring my hand up to my neck to find a chain around it, his ring hanging in the middle. Not a second of my day goes by without this pressing urge to run to him but I´m afraid to be awaken from this dream. As long as I don´t go to his dinner I can still believe that he was indeed asking what I thought. I can ignore the fact that maybe I had jumped and landed flat on my face. I can relive the fantasy where everything plays out just like I want it to. And I know that I´m just being a coward but I can´t help it. For the time being I´ll take my fantasy world over reality.

Two minutes later the urge strikes again but this time I make up my mind. Today I´m going to walk there and take my chances. I haven´t come this far just to wonder. I sum up all the courage I can find and march my way down there. I walk into the desolated dinner and, in a weird deja vù, hear him shout.

"We are closed."

"I´m sorry, the sign said Open." I reply and hear him drop something that sounds like casseroles. I can´t help but smile as I see him come out of the kitchen. He looks at me and for the smallest of a fraction averts his eyes. He just stands there for what seams eternity and then walks from behind the counter and hugs me, but there is no kiss when we part and I´m left hanging.

He starts asking about my life, how are things with Rory and the new house. There is something off with him, like he is trying to hide something by continuously rambling and I still can´t put my finger on it. Besides I´m too thrown off by his kiss-less greeting. Something´s wrong and the fact that I cannot figure it out is driving me insane.

And then it hits me. He met someone else! That has to be it... why else would he be acting like such a good friend? As a mindless habit I´ve developed in the past days whenever I find myself in need of strength I reach for the chain in my neck. And before I can even finish with my train of thought I have to marvel at my own stupidity. I watch him follow my every move as I unlock the chain holding his ring, slip it out and hand it to him.

"I do believe tradition states that you are supposed to be one to slide that into my finger and I would hate to curse us with a tradition-challenged engagement."

He grabs the ring, kneels in front of me and asks:

"Lorelai, will you marry me?"

"Yes!" I scream at the top of my lungs and he gets up to kiss me senseless for the second time since I´ve known him. When we part for air he slips the band into my finger and his eyes linger on it for a while before he looks at me once more.

It doesn´t take me that long to realize somethings wrong. I start to panic, thinking that maybe coming here wasn´t such a good idea after all and even thought the notion is crazy I start to wonder once again if he has found someone else. I decide not to feed those fantasies and ask.

"Hey, what´s wrong?"

"Uh... nothing´s wrong, why do you ask?" He tries.

"Luke..."

"Ok. But this is going to sound really stupid..."

"What could be worst than the time I ironed a fax? C´mon, you are talking to the Queen of Stupidity."

"It´s just that... I wish I had time to really and actually date you before we got married. That´s all."

I smile broadly at him. He can be the cutest most sweet thing in the world sometimes... and he is all mine.

"Luke, would you like to go to the movies or dinner tomorrow night?" He looks up into my eyes and I can see realization hit him as he smiles. We can be engaged for sometime and date, quite frankly I believe that is for the best. Even though this is completely different, I don´t want to rush into another marriage.

"I´d love to." He replies. Then leans closer and kisses me once again. I´m about to deepen the kiss when I hear the door bell´s tingling followed by a very familiar voice.

"Mom?" Deja vù strikes me again and I panic as I believe I´m about to re live one of the worst scenes in my life. But when I turn Rory is still there. She walks shyly but surely toward us but instead of talking to me she holds out her hand to Luke.

"I believe we haven´t been introduced before. I´m Lorelai Leigh Hayden Gilmore but you can call me Rory." She says solemnly.

"Lucas Danes but you can call me Luke." He replies shaking her hand.

"With that said I beg you forgive me, I have something to do." She turns into my direction and I have yet to decide what to do or say. I´m still half expecting her to run away but she doesn´t, she hugs me as tightly as she can while beginning to cry.

"Mom, I´m sorry! I didn´t mean any of the things I said. I was just angry and confused and I´m sorry... please say you forgive me."

"Sh... babe. There´s nothing to forgive." She parts from me and starts speaking again.

"Yes there is... I was awful. I didn´t even let you explain and I refused to talk to you and I was so disrespectful... I´m sorry mom. I was so confused. I know you and dad didn´t get along, I´m not stupid, but I guess somewhere in my heart I still hoped you would find a way around it, even after you filed for divorce. And then when I saw you kissing him all of my hopes were crushed and I couldn´t deal with it."

"Oh honey..."

"No, please... let me just finish saying this. When I got home from Chilton the day you left and found your letter, I was going to burn it, but I never could. At the time it was my last bond with you and even though I was still mad at you then I couldn´t bare to be completely away from you. It took me all this time to build up the courage to read it. And then last night I did. At first I couldn´t believe you... I mean, dad having an affair for so long, so I went to his office today to confront him and that´s when I overheard a conversation they were having. She is pregnant mom, and he actually insinuated she got an abortion! I... I... I was so disgusted, I just left. I´m sorry mommy..."

"It´s OK. babe I´m here now... it´s ok." I say while rubbing her back. "I´ll tell you what, how bout we walk back home and you can take a look at your new room? We can stay up discussing how to decorate it."

"I think I´d like that." She replies still half sobbing.

While leaving a hand on Rory´s back, I turn around to talk to Luke who has gone to the back while we were talking to give us some privacy. I find four take out coffees on the counter and a loving smile across his face. I mouth a thank you to him, grab the containers and start guiding Rory outside.

As we walk in silence I wonder. I´ve been afraid to leave, afraid to lose, afraid of living... but I turned to him and found myself. I felt my heart, my pain and my anger. I´ve fought my fear and found my answer and as a cat held upside down, I´ve landed feet on the ground.

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**Author´s Note:** DONE! So? What ya think?? 


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